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| Can you help me improve my writing skills? [An excerpt from my story]? Basically, I wanted to finish a novel this summer. This is not really the story I'm working on but it's an exercise I found online where they gave us an outline and we wrote according to the information they gave us. Please read it and critique it as much as you want. It would be nice to tell me how to improve my flow and what else I need to improve on. I really would greatly appreciate it :D ---- The road was completely blocked. Little progress had been made and when they finally moved, it was in a very conveyor belt-like fashion. One car edged forward, followed by others, though the distance they each covered was about the length of my foot. I stared glumly out my window and then at my watch. “Terrible traffic, isn’t it?” I turned and met the eyes of my secretary. She was smiling in a way that irritated me to no ends. I nodded briefly and turned back. Too bad she didn’t take a hint. “Seriously, New York is a great place but the traffic can totally drive me insane sometimes.” She chuckled at her own pun. I decided that I was going to tune her out. Heck, I had done that with my wife for nine years and we’re still married, aren’t we? Women, they were a handful sometimes. I craned my neck to take in my surroundings. We were in some part of New York, though with the tall skyscrapers and flashing signs, it all looked the same to me. A billboard of a smiling man caught my eye. That’s when I really lost it. “Helene, will you just shut up for a second?” I snapped, just as she was finishing up an anecdote about one of her friends and something to do with a taxi. Helene’s eyes instantly turned misty. ****. I waved my hand apologetically. “I’m sorry,” I said with a sigh. “I just really need to get to LA. The investor, he’s some stuck-up prick and probably won’t go with our proposal if I show up late.” Understanding flooded her expression. She was looking past me and pointing at something. It was the billboard I had seen earlier. I felt a hot burst of anger making its way to the surface again but I tried my best to contain it. My fingers really ached for a smoke. She was whispering when she spoke again, “You don’t have to worry about him, you know? He might be at the presentation but he can’t do anything. You’re going to land this.” Despite the fact that I paid her to say things like that, it still felt good to have someone still be on my side after what had happened. Three months ago, the company had lost one of our most important investors to a rival company, his rival company. And ever since, the stocks just keep dropping every day. Today they were at twenty dollars a piece. I glanced outside the window but the scenery’s still unchanged. We haven’t moved, not even by the length of my foot. “This is bullshit!” I was startled; it hadn’t come out of my mouth. I stared at Helene, who’s usually pale complexion had turned a fury red. She seemed to be going over something in her head before turning to me. “Donald, I really hate you at times,” Helene began, obviously enjoying the expression on my face. “Especially when you always complain about the coffee I bring you. It’s always too hot or too cold, not enough sugar or too much milk.” I shot her a look of despise. Was this really the time? “However,” she continued. “I won’t let you see your company fall this way. Get out of the car right now.” Her hand reached for the handle and soon she was outside of my side of the car, opening the door. The taxi man seemed to have noticed because he started making a huge fuss. “Here,” I said, shoving a bunch of bills into his hand. That shut him up well. I stepped out, half infuriated and half strangely energized. “What in the wor-“ “How much time do we have?” Helene said. I hesitated. “Four hours... Seriously, what’s going-“ “Just shut up for a second!” She was taking in her surroundings. Finally she took a deep breath. “Alright, it’s a bit close but we can take a shortcut through central park and take a subway to the airport. But we have to run!” I was just about to complain about why she hadn’t brought up her sudden epiphany up sooner but she took my hand and we ran across the conveyor belt of taxis. Before I left, the damned billboard caught my eye. But this time it wasn’t anger I felt, rather I felt invigorated, excited. Bring it on. |
| I actually like it! can you answer mine plz? answers.yahoo.com/question/index;… |
| How to Spice Up My Life, Ideas? I'm a 43 year old virgin, and have decided that I need to settle down and find someone special. How am I to go about doing this?? Should I hire a hoooker, or jsut get busy with my sister?? She's offered in the past, but I have refused thinking this is wrong. I cannot wait any longer! I mean, I'm old, but really really rich and think that some young hot ladies might accept to love me, or make love to me?? Any move ideas to do when I find that special girl??I don't really know how to start doing this, and any advice would be plausable. Please don't report this question. I just really really feel lonely. I live in my mom's basement, have 2 cats, but own about half a million dollars in stocks. I'm afraid to buy a house because I don't know how to cook etc. My mother does this all for me, and treats me like a guy. I go to work every day, but the only woman there is a really ugly secretary, that I am not attracted to the least. I'm really not the bad looking, but could probably loose some weight. I play video games, but want to get some real action into my life, if ya know what I'm sayin?? ADIVICE PLEASEEE, I will be waiting... tick tock... love, Bob |
| god **** Get a hooker. |
| What happened i am still here ??? do you think i should be ? NHS Bloomers!....? These are sentences actually typed by Medical secretaries in NHS Greater Glasgow 1. The patient has no previous history of suicides. 2. Patient has left her white blood cells at another hospital. 3. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days. 4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night. 5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. 6. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared. 7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed. 8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993. 9. Discharge status:- Alive, but without my permission. 10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert, but forgetful. 11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. 12. She is numb from her toes down. 13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home. 14. The skin was moist and dry. 15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches. 16. Patient was alert and unresponsive. 17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid. 18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce. 19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our care for physical therapy. 20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation. 21 Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized. 22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function. 23. Skin: somewhat pale, but present. 24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor. 25. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall. 26. Patient has two teenage guyren, but no other abnormalities. 27. When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room. 28. The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of fuel and crashed. 29. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant. 30. She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December. 31. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Smith, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree. 32. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead. |
| Very good enjoyed your NHS bloomers very much, seeing as you have not been on here for a while I will give you 30 out of 10 for them. Nice to see you back we missed your jokes, and yes I am glad you are back along with others. |
| What are your doctors writing about you? "Health Service typos These are sentences actually typed by Medical secretaries in NHS Greater Glasgow [it says here .... ] 1. The patient has no previous history of suicides. 2. Patient has left her white blood cells at another hospital. 3. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days. 4. She has no rigor's or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night. 5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. 6. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared. 7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed. 8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993. 9. Discharge status:- Alive, but without my permission. 10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert, but forgetful. 11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. 12. She is numb from her toes down. 13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home. 14. The skin was moist and dry. 15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches. 16. Patient was alert and unresponsive. 17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid 18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce. 19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our care for physical therapy. 20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation. 21 Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized. 22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function. 23. Skin: somewhat pale, but present. 24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor. 25. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall. 26. Patient has two teenage guyren, but no other abnormalities 27. When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room. 28. The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of fuel and crashed. 29. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant 30. She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December. 31. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Smith, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree. 32. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead. 33. By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better." What is medically being written about you? (Okay not exactly a joke, but this is probably the best section and I hope you like it) |
| I'm making a copy for my physician's medical secretary. |